Discovering My Self-Love Language
Hey Friends!
Do you have a self-love language? Similar to the traditional love languages, but designed just for you—a way to show yourself the love and care you deserve. As I sit here on my couch, sipping applesauce straight from the jar, and catching up on "The Boys" (yes, I’m late to the party), I’m soaking in a moment of pure contentment. It’s a beautiful, sunny Sunday in Florida—hot, humid, and fresh from a rain shower. These are the moments I cherish most.
Working a 9-to-5 job has taught me to deeply appreciate my weekends. Yet, it’s bittersweet, knowing I only get two days out of the week to truly relax and enjoy life. That’s part of why I started this Substack—to create something different, to pave a path where every day feels like Saturday. I’m striving to live a life where I love all seven days, not just two.
Right now, this simple act of sitting on my couch with applesauce in hand feels like an expression of my self-love language. Until this moment, I hadn’t even realized I had one. But now, I see that this is how I love myself—by savoring these peaceful, unhurried moments.
If you’ve read my earlier post about embracing my "vanilla girl" era, you know I just showered, luxuriating in my vanilla body scrub, coconut shea butter soap, body oil, and perfume. Everything smells divine, and it feels amazing to sit here and fully enjoy the moment. Even though there’s that little voice reminding me that tomorrow is Monday and I need to plan for the week ahead, I’m savoring the now.
Another part of my self-love routine is cooking on Sundays, something I look forward to Not having to do once I’m fully sustaining myself through my writing. I’ve developed a habit of ordering groceries on Instacart because grocery shopping just isn’t my thing—another self-love gesture. Today, I cooked pasta, chicken, rice, and vegetables—meals that will last us the whole week. This routine allows me to gift myself with time freedom during the busy workweek, which is a crucial part of my self-love language.
Of course, scent is another self-love language of mine. After my vanilla-infused shower, I lit a vanilla candle, and the scent fills my home. I’m really into vanilla lately, though I typically lean towards earthy scents like sandalwood. With my birthday coming up, I might treat myself to some new earthy candles, but for now, the vanilla is perfect.
Sunshine is also one of my self-love languages. I love being in spaces where the sun filters through the windows, casting a warm, golden glow. It brings me peace and joy, helping me feel connected to the world and to myself.
So, I encourage you to explore your own self-love language. Immerse yourself in it as much as you can, and let it become part of who you are. Practicing self-love in these small ways is a beautiful aspect of identity work. I’m someone who craves time and money freedom, so by living in my self-love languages, I’m actively creating a life that aligns with those desires.
I’d love to hear what your self-love language is. If you’ve already discovered it, share it in the comments—I’m always curious to know. And if you’re just beginning to explore this idea, let me know how it goes. Have a wonderful day, and I’ll see you in the next post.
Here’s to living a life unscripted,
