How to Overcome Workplace Rejection and Shift from Victim Mode to Growth
Hey Friends,
I had an experience today that left me with more questions than answers, but it also opened up a huge window for reflection and growth. It was a situation that many of you might relate to—one where you're left feeling completely misunderstood, judged, and even questioned on a fundamental level. But as always, there's a lesson buried in the discomfort, and it's one I think we can all use when navigating challenging moments in our own lives.
So here’s what happened. I applied for a position within my company, and I didn’t get it. That alone is fine—sometimes things don’t work out as planned. But the reason I wasn’t chosen? Well, that’s where it gets interesting. According to the manager, I didn’t "sell myself" in the interview. Now, I don’t know about you, but the idea of selling myself to people who literally see me doing the job every day is baffling. They watch me work, they evaluate me regularly, and yet, when it came down to the interview, they said I didn’t present myself in the right light.
If that wasn’t enough, they also told me that one of my answers in the interview made me come across as judgmental. The question was, "What’s something people might find annoying about you?" I thought I answered it with a bit of humor and self-awareness by saying that I’m a people-watcher. My exact words were something like, "Sometimes I’ll see someone walking a certain way, and it reminds me of how my mom told me I walk like a duck. So I think, 'Wow, look at us, we both walk like ducks.'" I thought it was lighthearted and self-reflective, but they interpreted it as me being judgmental. To them, it suggested I would judge people during interviews as a recruiter.
What? That’s the part that really threw me for a loop. They know my work. They know that my current job requires a lot of judgment, from reviewing resumes to speaking with potential candidates. Yet, in all my time with them, I have never let my personal opinions interfere with my professional duties. I’ve always worked based on company standards, not my own preferences. So why would I start now?
It hurt, to be honest. Hearing that someone thinks of you in a way that’s completely contrary to how you see yourself can feel like a punch to the gut. Especially when you’ve been working on yourself, consciously trying to cultivate peace, pleasure, and a more rooted, feminine energy. It’s hard not to feel like their opinion of you is entirely misplaced and frankly, unfair.
But here’s the thing—I learned something invaluable from this experience. I learned what they really think of me, and even though it was disheartening, it revealed a lot. Not just about them, but about me and how I respond to these kinds of situations.
As much as I wanted to sit in the space of feeling wronged, misunderstood, and judged, I couldn’t stay there. Yes, I cried. Yes, I called my sister and a close friend to vent. Yes, I played the victim for a moment, telling myself that this label would now follow me in the company, limiting any future opportunities. But something shifted during one of those conversations. I realized that I was doing exactly what I talk about avoiding—I was staying in victim mode.
Victim mode is that space where you feel like everything is happening to you and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s that "woe is me" energy, and while it’s valid to feel hurt and disappointed, you can’t live there. At some point, you have to ask yourself: What’s next? How do I use this to grow?
That’s the real lesson here—how we handle the moments when we feel most misunderstood or judged. It’s okay to cry, to vent, to feel frustrated. But after that, we need to pause and ask ourselves, “What can I learn from this? How is this situation pushing me to become the person I’m meant to be?” We talk about manifesting our desires, but we often forget that manifestation comes with challenges that force us to grow into the people we need to be in order to receive what we’re asking for.
I’ve been on a journey of re-rooting into my feminine foundation—learning to move from peace and pleasure rather than from a space of go-go-go masculine energy. And this experience, as difficult as it was, helped me see that I’m still growing into that version of myself. I’m still learning how to stand strong in who I am, even when others don’t see or understand it.
We all have moments when someone’s perception of us doesn’t align with who we truly are. The important thing is not to let those perceptions define us. We can acknowledge them, sure, but we don’t have to accept them as our truth. Instead, we can use them as a mirror, reflecting back at us the areas where we might need to strengthen our own understanding of ourselves.
I know now that my energy, my peace, and my pleasure are not contingent on how others view me. I have to keep showing up as the person I know I am and as the person I am becoming, even if others can’t yet see that version of me. And that’s a lesson I think we all need to carry with us.
When you’re working on manifesting a life that aligns with who you truly are—whether that’s through building a business, fostering deeper relationships, or simply living more pleasurably—you have to be ready for situations that test your resolve. You’ll encounter people who don’t understand your energy or your intentions, and you’ll have moments where you doubt yourself. But those moments are just part of the process. They’re not here to stop you; they’re here to shape you into the person who’s ready to receive everything you’re asking for.
So, the next time you face something like this—a situation where someone’s perspective doesn’t align with your truth—take a deep breath. Allow yourself to feel the hurt or frustration, but don’t stay there. Remember that this is part of your up-leveling. This is part of you becoming the person you’re meant to be, the person who can handle everything you’re manifesting.
And finally, know this: When you ask for something big, the universe will give you opportunities to become big enough to handle it. So, embrace the challenges. They’re here to help you grow.
Live Pleasurably,
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