How to Transform Comparison into Your Biggest Ally for Success and Peace
Hey friends!
I hope you’re having the most amazing day ever. I’m so excited to connect with you today, especially on this topic of comparison. You know that saying, “comparison is the thief of joy?” Well, let’s dig into why that is so true and how we can shift that energy into something that serves us.
So here’s how this all started: I was still in bed, checking my messages before getting ready for my 9-to-5. I came across a message from a friend in my Facebook DMs. He was talking about comparison and how it can steal your joy, and I instantly thought about how many times I’ve been caught up in that same energy. Comparisonitis, as we call it in the online entrepreneurial space, is very real. But it’s not just real for entrepreneurs—it’s real for everyone. Whether you’re comparing your body, your parenting style, your home, your wardrobe, or even something as tiny as your left eyebrow (hey, we’ve all been there!), comparison shows up in our lives more than we realize.
And what happens when we compare? We despair. We immediately start thinking about what we lack, what we don’t have, or what we’re not doing right. We start feeling like we’re not enough. And let’s be honest, that’s a really tough feeling to sit with. It was definitely a tough one for me, and it still is sometimes.
Why Comparison Triggers Despair
For me, comparison used to show up a lot when it came to clothes. I would want to dress differently, feel more feminine, or look more sophisticated. But then I’d see how other women styled their outfits and instantly feel like I wasn’t measuring up. It wasn’t even about the clothes themselves—it was about how I wanted to feel in my clothes. I wanted to feel confident, put-together, and me, but I kept getting stuck in this loop of feeling like I wasn’t doing it right.
But guess what? Comparison also creeps into my business. I’ve been in business for a while now, and I’ve had the opportunity to explore so many different avenues—ways to make money, ways to connect with my audience, ways to show up. And while I’ve loved learning and growing in those areas, I still catch myself comparing where I am to where others are. You know, the ones who started around the same time I did (or even later) and are now millionaires.
It’s so easy to ask yourself, “What are they doing that I’m not? Why are they successful, and I’m not there yet?” But what I realized after some deep reflection is that a lot of the time, I wasn’t following what gave me peace and pleasure. I was chasing what I thought would make me money, not what made me happy. And that’s a key difference.
Finding Your Flow: From Comparison to Alignment
Here’s the thing: comparison doesn’t have to be a negative experience. I know, sounds wild, right? But stay with me here. Recently, I came across an episode of a podcast by Jenna Zoe, who talks about human design. She said something that totally shifted my perspective: if you feel jealous of someone, it’s because you’re already meant to have what they have.
Let me say that again—you’re already meant to have what they have. That means your feelings of jealousy aren’t something to beat yourself up over. They’re actually a sign that what you’re desiring is meant for you. You just have to align with it, put in the inner work, and trust that the higher power (whatever that looks like for you) wouldn’t place that desire in your heart if it wasn’t possible for you.
How mind-blowing is that? Suddenly, jealousy isn’t this ugly, negative thing. Instead, it becomes a roadmap to your potential. And the best part? You don’t have to be mean to others or yourself in the process. We’ve been taught that jealousy is something to feel ashamed of, but it’s really just another emotion—one that’s telling you, “Hey, this is for you too!”
How to Shift Your Comparison Mindset
So, how do we actually shift our mindset when comparison hits? Here are some thoughts I’ve had that have helped me:
Acknowledge the feeling. The first step is always awareness. When you feel that pang of comparison, recognize it. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel it without judgment.
Ask yourself what it’s trying to tell you. Instead of spiraling into negative thoughts, ask, “What is this feeling pointing me toward? What do I desire that I see in someone else?”
Reframe jealousy as alignment. The next time you see someone living the life or having the success you want, remind yourself: “This means I’m aligned for this too.” It’s already for you, and you’re already on your way there, you just have to match up to that energy.
Do the inner work. It’s not enough to just recognize and reframe—you also need to take aligned action. Whether that’s working on your mindset, building your skills, or simply believing in yourself a little more each day, the inner work is key.
Celebrate where you are. Don’t forget to celebrate the present moment. Where you are right now is just as important as where you’re going. Honor your journey, and trust that everything is unfolding perfectly.
The Power of Self-Compassion
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the importance of being compassionate with yourself. We can be so harsh, especially when we’re caught in comparison mode. But let’s be real—it doesn’t serve us. It’s just another way of being unkind to ourselves.
When you feel that comparison creeping in, remind yourself that you’re human. You’re doing the best you can with the knowledge and tools you have right now. And guess what? That’s enough. You are enough.
If you’re feeling stuck in comparison, I want to leave you with this: the desire you have is already yours. The only thing standing between you and that desire is the belief that you can have it. So, start believing in yourself. Start aligning your actions with what brings you peace, pleasure, and joy. And remember, it’s okay to be a work in progress.
At the end of the day, comparison is a natural part of life. But it doesn’t have to steal your joy or make you feel less-than. You have the power to shift your perspective and use comparison as a tool for growth and alignment. So the next time you catch yourself in comparison mode, take a deep breath and remind yourself that what you desire is already for you—you just have to align with it.
Live pleasurably!
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