5 Steps to Stop Over-Relying on External Advice and Start Listening to Yourself

 

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Hey Friends,

Today’s manifesto is your guide to reconnecting with your inner trust and intuition. In a world overflowing with formulas, guides, and how-to videos, it can be easy to forget the innate power we each hold—the quiet voice within us that knows what we need to move forward with ease, joy, and fulfillment. We’re surrounded by experts, gurus, and endless content that promise the path to peace, pleasure, or prosperity. But what if instead of looking outward, we turned inward to a wisdom we were born with?

In this manifesto, I’m inviting you to explore the ways we can rebuild that self-trust. Remember, it’s not about dismissing outside resources; it’s about learning to use them without losing connection to our own guidance. Reclaiming that connection to ourselves is how we can achieve the peace and pleasure we seek in our daily lives, work, and relationships. Let’s dive in.

The Inherent Trust We Were Born With

Think about a child’s first steps, the way they instinctively know to hold their head up, roll over, stand, crawl, and eventually walk. No guide or course teaches a child this natural sequence; it’s an inner impulse, a self-trust that drives them forward. We all begin our lives with this trust, and yet as we grow, many of us lose it. So, where did it go?

As adults, we’ve trained ourselves to seek direction from others. It’s easier to find an answer or copy a formula rather than pause, breathe, and wait for our own inner guidance. We can have countless resources, but we still need to find our way back to our own knowing.

Recognizing the Signs of Disconnection from Self-Trust

The disconnect from our inner trust often shows up subtly, like a whisper. Have you ever felt torn about a decision, endlessly scrolling for answers or waiting for someone else to tell you what to do? Or maybe you feel like you need to keep doing, achieving, or producing to prove your worth—either to yourself or others.

For me, as a 3-5 Manifesting Generator, I can lose myself in hours of work I love. Building a workbook, crafting content, or creating visuals—when I’m in flow, hours fly by, and it feels amazing. But this drive can also become a double-edged sword. There are moments when I know I should pause, but instead, I hear the inner voice saying, “Just one more task.” I’ve had to learn that allowing myself to rest is a crucial act of trust. It’s about knowing I don’t have to be in constant motion for my work to thrive.

    Why Relying on External Guides Can Erode Inner Trust

    With today’s digital world, the temptation to depend on external guidance is constant. The workbooks, live sessions, coaching programs—they’re all there to offer direction. And while they can be incredibly valuable, they’re tools, not replacements for our own self-guidance.

    Many of us are so used to looking to others that we stop thinking for ourselves. Over time, we begin to lose trust in our own ability to make the right decision or find clarity on our own. While learning from others can expand our minds, it should never replace our unique perspective. The question then becomes: How do we start to trust ourselves again?

    Steps to Reconnect with Your Self-Trust

    Let’s explore a few methods I’ve found helpful in reconnecting with my inner guidance. These steps aren’t rules or one-size-fits-all solutions. Instead, they’re practices to help you hear your own inner wisdom.

    1. Ask Yourself What You Truly Need

    One of the simplest ways to reconnect with your self-trust is to check in and ask, “What do I need?” This question is powerful because it brings you back to yourself, inviting you to slow down and notice what your mind, body, and spirit are craving.

    For instance, when I find myself spiraling into overdrive, thinking of all the tasks I should be doing, I remind myself that rest is an option too. Sometimes what I truly need isn’t productivity but simply a quiet moment with a warm cup of tea, a good book, or a gentle conversation with a friend.

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    2. Embrace Non-Doing

    Learning to trust yourself often means learning to be okay with doing nothing. In our society, where busyness is often praised, being at rest can feel uncomfortable or even irresponsible. But here’s the truth: non-doing is powerful.

    Allowing yourself moments to pause, breathe, and exist without expectation reminds you that your worth isn’t tied to what you produce. Sometimes, I’ll sit on the couch with my tea, feeling my mind wander to my to-do list. But rather than jumping back into work, I let myself unwind. By doing this, I’m reprogramming myself to trust that I don’t need to be working constantly.

    3. Keep Small Promises to Yourself

    Rebuilding trust with yourself begins with small promises. Decide on one small thing you want to commit to today—whether it’s a short walk, journaling for five minutes, or saying no to an extra obligation. Start with manageable promises, then follow through.

    When we continuously make and break promises to ourselves, we subconsciously erode our trust. But each time we keep a commitment, no matter how small, we strengthen our inner bond. Over time, these small acts build a solid foundation of self-trust.

    4. Use Outside Resources as Tools, Not Solutions

    The guides, workbooks, and courses available are wonderful tools, but they should complement, not replace, your self-guidance. Approach these resources with a sense of curiosity, using them as a way to inspire your path, not define it. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

    I’m not suggesting you stop learning from others. Instead, consider it an act of self-trust to decide what aligns with you. Remember, these tools are meant to enhance, not overshadow, your own wisdom.

    5. Honor Your Unique Rhythm and Needs

    Trusting yourself means honoring your unique rhythm—acknowledging what brings you peace, joy, and fulfillment. Whether you’re someone who thrives in the morning or finds inspiration at night, recognizing and respecting your own timing is essential.

    For example, I work best in the mornings and often feel most energized then. Honoring this rhythm means structuring my work around it, allowing myself to flow with ease and letting go of pressure to conform to a schedule that doesn’t align with me.

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    Building Your Next-Level Self Through Self-Trust

    Ultimately, the next version of ourselves—our next-level identity—isn’t going to be found in a book or a course. It’s created from the inside out. This next-level self is one who knows what she desires, listens to her intuition, and moves through life with a sense of grounded trust. She is aligned with her inner wisdom and uses external tools as supplements, not substitutes.

    When we operate from this place of self-trust, we not only move closer to our goals but also experience more peace and pleasure in the journey. We stop seeking validation from others, and we release the need to constantly perform or achieve. Instead, we find joy in our own presence, moving with a calm confidence that is magnetic.

    Wrapping Up: Reclaiming Your Inner Trust

    In a world that constantly pulls us outward, reclaiming our self-trust is an act of rebellion and love. It’s about saying, “I am my own guide, and I trust that I know what’s best for me.” This journey back to inner trust won’t always be easy, but each small step you take toward reconnecting with yourself will be worth it.

    So next time you’re faced with a choice or feeling overwhelmed, pause. Breathe. Trust that deep down, you know what to do. All it takes is listening and allowing yourself the grace to follow your own path.

    Live Pleasurably.

     

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      Aja Vancica

      3/5 Manifesting Generator, Charcuterie Board Connoisseur, Home Enthusiast (a fancy term for an introverted homebody), Blogger, Certified Master Coach, and Ultimate Queen of Reinvention

      https://morningslikethis.com
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