Unrelatable”? Or Just Unbothered? Why Meghan Markle’s Soft Life Has White Women Pressed & Black Women Obsessed
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There’s something about a Black woman resting that rattles the table.
Meghan Markle’s new Netflix series, With Love, Meghan, is light, lovely, and soft—on purpose. Think cozy kitchens, mocktails, sweet affirmations, and elegant home aesthetics. It’s the kind of show you throw on while folding laundry, dreaming about lemon trees and linen napkins.
But somewhere between the herbal tea and hydrangeas, the show ignited a very revealing cultural moment. Not because of what Meghan says—but because of what she dares to embody: peace.
And peace, as it turns out, is controversial when it’s coming from a Black woman.
The Show That Launched a Thousand Side-Eyes
Let’s start with the show itself. With Love, Meghan isn’t a reality show. It’s not The Crown, not Selling Sunset, and definitely not The Real Housewives of Montecito. It’s simple, elegant, and maybe even a little… gentle.
It’s Meghan making her favorite salad. Hosting chef friends. Trying recipes. Talking about mindfulness, intention, homemaking, and her love of all things domestic. It’s a show about comfort—and comfort is exactly what seems to be making certain viewers deeply uncomfortable.
Across social media, particularly on TikTok and Twitter, many white women have criticized the show as “unrelatable,” “boring,” and “out of touch.” They mock her love of Le Creuset cookware (how dare she!), her quiet demeanor, and her calm energy. They roll their eyes at her curated domesticity and sigh, “Who does she think she is?”
But Black women? We’re watching it with our feet up and a rosemary mocktail in hand.
Black Women Said: “We See You, Sis”
The backlash hasn’t gone unnoticed—and neither has the response. Black women across social platforms are rallying behind Meghan, not just in support, but in deep resonance. The message? “We get it. We live it. And we love it.”
Because the truth is: Black women know what it’s like to be called “too much” and “not enough” at the same time. We’ve been told to be strong, resilient, tireless providers—but when we dare to prioritize joy, softness, and slowness? Suddenly we’re “unrelatable.” Or worse, “lazy.” “Unambitious.” “Privileged.”
Meghan’s show doesn’t try to prove anything. It doesn’t apologize or explain. It just is. And that, in itself, is revolutionary.
Why the “Unrelatable” Critique Isn’t Just About the Show
Let’s get one thing straight: With Love, Meghan isn’t “unrelatable” because it features niche cookware. Martha Stewart has been slinging $200 dutch ovens for decades, and nobody batted an eye. Joanna Gaines could spin in a circle holding a wreath and people would call it genius.
So what’s really going on?
The “unrelatable” critique isn’t about content—it’s about comfort. It’s about who gets to be seen as aspirational. Who gets to be soft. Who gets to be followed for a lifestyle, instead of mocked for living one.
Meghan’s presence in this space—the lifestyle space—interrupts the long-standing default: white women. She’s not just adding diversity to the category. She’s reframing it entirely.
She’s not selling struggle. She’s showcasing sanctuary. And some people aren’t ready to see a Black woman center joy without trauma as the plot twist.
The Soft Life Isn’t a Trend—It’s a Resistance
For many of us, especially Black women, the concept of the “soft life” isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about survival.
We’re not just talking about slow mornings and clean countertops. We’re talking about breaking generational cycles of burnout. We’re talking about giving ourselves permission to rest, to nurture, to prioritize pleasure. We’re talking about saying no to “strong Black woman” expectations that left us exhausted and unseen.
Meghan’s show feels like a love letter to that quiet rebellion.
Because let’s not forget—this is a woman who was relentlessly dragged by the British press. Who was accused of “doing too much” when she worked, and “doing nothing” when she stepped back. Who’s been gaslit by both the palace and the press. And now? She’s arranging tulips and baking croissants with no explanation, no apology, and no rush.
It’s soft. It’s slow. It’s defiant.
The Domestic Gaze: Who Gets to Be a Lifestyle Icon?
If we zoom out, there’s a bigger conversation here. One about the lifestyle genre itself.
Who gets to be aspirational?
For decades, the lifestyle space has been dominated by white women—from Martha to Gwyneth to Ina to Joanna. Their homes, meals, and vibes were presented as the standard. “This is how you live well,” they seemed to say. “This is elegance.”
When Meghan steps into that space, she disrupts the norm. And not by yelling or ranting or rebranding herself as “edgy.” No—she does it by being calm. By taking up space in soft, subtle ways. And that’s powerful.
It’s also threatening to those who see whiteness as synonymous with taste, class, or grace.
So when they say “unrelatable,” what they really mean is: “I’m not used to seeing her like this.” Not in this kitchen. Not in this genre. Not in this light.
Why We Needed This Show—Even If You Didn’t
Here’s the thing: maybe With Love, Meghan wasn’t made for the masses. Maybe it wasn’t designed to be a viral smash or a trending tab on Netflix.
Maybe it was a gift. To herself. To us.
To the Black women who’ve been moving too fast for too long. Who’ve been told that softness is weakness. Who have never seen themselves reflected in lifestyle content that wasn’t buried under tropes, trauma, or tokenism.
And sure, maybe it’s not your cup of herbal tea. But to call it “pointless”? “Out of touch”?
That’s projection, babe. Not critique.
IYKYK: Why Black Women Are Building Altars to This Era
As a single mom, I can tell you—this show feels like an affirmation.
Since I started blogging last summer, I’ve been on a journey to reclaim my own version of the soft life. I didn’t even know what that looked like at first. Slowing down felt like a foreign language. Between working, parenting, cleaning, existing—who had time to be “soft”?
But then I started lighting candles on weeknights. Making cute mocktails. Watching homemaking videos on YouTube. Reclaiming peace in small, intentional ways.
So when I saw Meghan doing the same on Netflix? I didn’t see a duchess playing dress-up. I saw a woman choosing herself.
And that’s the part so many Black women are connecting with. Not the brand names or the backdrop—but the essence.
We see her. We see us.
Final Sip: What This Whole Conversation Reveals
With Love, Meghan pulled back the curtain on something much bigger than an episode runtime or a recipe. It showed us the lines still drawn around who’s allowed to be centered, celebrated, and soft.
And it reminded Black women of something we don’t hear enough: softness is not a luxury. It’s a right.
So to the white women clutching pearls over a duchess baking in Montecito—maybe it’s time to ask why her joy feels like a threat.
And to the Black women lighting sage while streaming Episode 3?
Keep softening. Keep shining. Keep building a life that feels like home.
We deserve it.
Live Pleasurably,
(For the overthinkers, the second-guessers, and the ‘I should have figured this out by now’ crowd.)
You don’t need another strategy. You need to stop second-guessing yourself. Let’s clear the noise.
WTF is not a coaching session. It’s not me handing you a step-by-step blueprint. It’s me helping you untangle the thoughts that are keeping you stuck, so you can finally hear your own damn clarity. LEARN MORE >
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