Am I Black Enough? A Journey into Identity, History, and Politics
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In this manifesto… we’re diving deep into the raw, unfiltered journey of identity, history, and the realization that Blackness is not just about being—it’s about knowing. If you’ve ever felt like you’re behind, like you should know more about Black history and politics but don’t even know where to start, you’re not alone. I’ve been there. And I’m finally doing something about it.
This post is about waking up to the truth—the undeniable connection between our past and our present. It’s about unlearning the idea that assimilation is the key to success and relearning the power that comes from understanding where we come from. It’s about buying my first book from a Black-owned bookstore, questioning everything I thought I knew, and embracing the journey of reclaiming what was always mine: my history, my culture, my identity.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re playing catch-up, like you’re just now beginning to uncover what so many others seem to already know—this is for you. No judgment, no shame, just an invitation to grow, to learn, and to step fully into the knowledge that was always meant for us. Let’s get into it.
Let’s dig in!
There are days when I wonder if I'm "Black enough." Not in the superficial, do-I-listen-to-the-right-music way, but in a deeper, more unsettling way—one that lingers when I watch the news, when I vote, when I realize just how much I don’t know about my own history.
And lately, in the wake of everything happening in this country—especially after the last election and the reality check that followed—this feeling has been creeping in more and more. It’s like waking up in the middle of a movie you should have been watching from the start, realizing that everyone else seems to know the plot, but you’re just now piecing it together.
I feel behind.
There’s a lot I want to learn. A lot I need to learn.
And yet, at the same time, I feel something else—excitement. Because I’m finally starting a journey that I should have been on a long time ago.
Waking Up to History and Politics (Because They’re the Same Thing)
It hit me recently—one of those wait-a-minute moments—that the history I need to learn as a Black woman is directly tied to the politics I never really paid much attention to.
I mean, let’s be real: school barely scratched the surface of Black history. It was Rosa Parks, MLK, and a vague mention of slavery before the curriculum conveniently fast-forwarded to the Civil Rights Movement, skipping entire centuries of struggle, resilience, and revolution. The unspoken message? The past was bad, but don’t worry—it all worked out!
Spoiler: It didn’t.
And the more I watch what’s happening in the world today, the more I realize that if I want to truly understand, I have to go back. I have to learn my history, because history is politics.
And as if the universe wanted to drive that point home, I had one of those synchronicity moments—those eerie, you’re on the right track confirmations. I was listening to a Black media source, and they literally said it: You cannot separate Black history from Black politics.
It was like someone took my half-formed thoughts, polished them up, and handed them back to me with a knowing nod.
I knew this on some level. But now, I know it-know it.
The Election That Changed Everything (For Me, At Least)
Truth? I wasn’t deeply invested in politics before this last election.
I voted for Kamala. Not because I had a bullet-pointed, well-researched breakdown of her policies (I didn’t). Not because I had a crystal-clear vision of what her leadership would mean for my future (I didn’t). I voted for her because I did not want Trump in office.
And I know I’m not alone in that.
But what I didn’t realize at the time was just how much that vote represented. What would it mean if she lost? What would it mean if she won? And more importantly, why didn’t I know the answers to these questions before I cast my vote?
When the election was over and executive orders started rolling out, I felt something shift. I found myself paying attention in a way I never had before. And that interest in politics led me straight to the realization that I have huge gaps in my knowledge of my own history.
I have to fix that.
Breaking the Cycle of Not Knowing
I didn’t grow up surrounded by deep conversations about Black history.
If anything, I grew up in an environment that subtly encouraged assimilation—just get a good job, work hard, don’t rock the boat. The unspoken rule was that success meant fitting into their world, not necessarily embracing ours.
And now, here I am, realizing that I don't just have gaps in my knowledge—I have craters.
Worse? I have three sons who are growing into men, and I can't teach them what I don't know.
And that stops now.
This cycle—this pattern of being disconnected from our own history, of being taught how to function in the system rather than how to understand it—ends with me.
The Culture I Thought I Didn’t Have
I used to feel like I didn’t really have a culture.
That might sound crazy, but when you grow up without a strong sense of historical identity, when your cultural experience is reduced to bits and pieces of mainstream Blackness filtered through entertainment and surface-level education, it can feel like there’s a missing piece.
So I reached for other cultures.
Islam gave me a connection to something bigger, a window into a different way of living. But looking back, I realize that part of me was searching for a sense of belonging that I thought I didn’t have in my own culture.
But now? Now I see it differently.
Black culture isn’t just music and slang and shared experiences—it’s history, resilience, power. And it’s mine.
My First Step: A Book (From a Black Bookstore!)
Today, I did something I’ve never intentionally done before.
I bought a book from a Black-owned bookstore.
Not just any book—a history book. A book about the women of the Montgomery bus boycott, a story that I should have known more about, but don’t.
It’s a small step, but it’s mine. (and I’m excited to read this book and many more!)
And I didn’t buy an e-book. I didn’t grab the audiobook (even though I love audiobooks). I wanted my kids to see me reading it. I wanted them to know that I’m learning, that it’s never too late to start.
Because this journey isn’t just for me.
For Those of Us Just Starting: No Judgment, Just Growth
I know there are Black folks who have been deep in this knowledge for years—decades even.
And I pray that they don’t judge those of us just now waking up.
Because this isn’t a trend for me. It’s not a “what’s hot right now” moment. It’s real, and it’s necessary.
I hope that those who are further along in their journey will reach out a hand instead of an eye-roll. That they’ll understand that some of us didn’t get this foundation growing up, that we’re playing catch-up, that we want to learn.
Becoming a Reader, Becoming Aware
One thing I’ve learned? If you want to become a reader, you have to read things you actually care about.
For me, that means diving into Black history.
For my son, that apparently meant reading a book by Gucci Mane (which, shockingly, he found incredibly insightful). The point is—reading has to come from a place of genuine interest. Otherwise, it’s just another thing you should do but never actually do.
So if you want to read more? Find something that excites you. Find something that makes you think. And just start.
This is Just the Beginning
If you’ve ever felt like you’re not “Black enough” because you don’t know enough, because you’re just now starting to learn, because you’re still putting the pieces together—listen to me:
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
The point isn’t to have all the answers. The point is to keep moving forward, to keep questioning, to keep learning.
Because this world is shifting, and we have to be ready.
I don’t know where this journey will lead me, but I know I’m on it.
And if you are too—welcome. We’ve got a lot to uncover, and I’m excited to do it together.
Let’s get into it.
I’d love to hear about your journey. Share in the comments below.
Live Pleasurably,
PS. Can’t wait to share what’s coming next at Mornings Like This. All I say now, is keep coming back to the site. Over the next few months, you’ll see shifts that if you’re interested in beginning your journey to reading…I’ve got something amazing coming your way! #soexcited
(For the overthinkers, the second-guessers, and the ‘I should have figured this out by now’ crowd.)
You don’t need another strategy. You need to stop second-guessing yourself. Let’s clear the noise.
WTF is not a coaching session. It’s not me handing you a step-by-step blueprint. It’s me helping you untangle the thoughts that are keeping you stuck, so you can finally hear your own damn clarity. LEARN MORE >
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